25, snart 26, är livet över? Hur fixar man till detta?

[Kimslicer]

Skrev detta på ett amerikanskt forum, har jag tur kanske någon här också har något tips hur jag ska gå till väga från nu.

Im not sure where to start, hell Im not even sure about the purpose of this whine thread. Anyway Im just gonna try to express my inner dialoge as good as possible here and hopefully some of you will understand what Im trying to say and If Im lucky someone might even have some suggestions/tips for me.

Anyway, get ready for a wall of whining.

Im 25, I live with my mom, I have no driver licence, I live in a very small town of 25.000 people. During my younger years - From 7 to 13 I was a very popular dude. I had friends everywhere and no problems making new ones whenever I felt like it. Things felt different then, kids arent as serious and hard to get to know as adults. You just asked him if he wanted to be your friend, invited him home to your house playing video games and eating dinner with your family and it was mission accomplished.

I played sports, I loved being outside, I was obsessed with action movies and teenagemutant ninja turtles. Life felt like a blessing, every color were so bright, all musicsounded so good and every new day was another adventure in a time period of my lifewhich was only the beginning of it all.

At 13, came online computer games, MMORPGs, first person shooters with ADSL internet connection. 1 week with it and I was obsessed - Ive always had a thingy going on wherewhenever I get interest in something, I get OBSESSED with it, obsessed to master it, spending all my waken hours with it.

I was very good at what I did, this game was called counter-strike and I seemed to have a natural talent for this kind of game. Friends had no chance at LAN-parties, soon enough I got a reputation going - "The king of counter-strike", in my small little town.

After a while I started joing up with different teams over the internet, eventually we became good started traveling around competing agains other teams. We had alot of success, but alot of time were "wasted".

I put 6 years into that game, lots of memories but also lots of thoughts like: "Would life have been better without it?"

- When my friends lost their virginities, I was locked in my room playing. When my friends drank alcohole for the first time, I was locked in my room playing. When my friends were at the beach on summer vacation, meeting girls and learning how to socialise with the opposite sex - I was locked in my room playing.

As time went my, I felt myself losing more and more of my social skills. I felt myself becoming anxious in social situations, self consious and stifled. 6 months after my 19th birthay, I went out clubbing with some friends which I still had (due to high-school) for the first time in my life. I met a girl there, made out, danced all night, exchanged numbers and some weeks after that I lost my virginity and had my very first relationship - That anxious feeling of becoming a 20 year old virgin were gone.

Counter-Strike: Uninstalled
World of Warcraft: Uninstalled

It almost felt like an overnight transformation - I became confident very quickly, my old self was back. My wit, my social skills, my - dare I saw - "swagger". I looked people in the eyes, I felt good about myself, I felt worthy, happy, outgoing. My girlfriend saw me as a classical "alpha male" - She never did believe me when I told her she took my virginity, she couldnt for one second believe I had been a virgin til the age of 19. She saw me as a popular guy, a dude with friends, strong principles, a go getter and a "doer".

I really have no idea what happened, but suddently I just felt like myself again, the shell was gone, me open to express myself to the world with no inhibitions.

I was together with her for 2 years - til this day the best time of my life. We had some very good times, lots of sex and romance, we were made for eachother and convinced we would eventually get some kids and our own family.

Yea, surprise surprise, after 2 years the love was gone, atleast from her side. She dumped me and 3 days later hooked up with the biggest player asshole in town - making out infront of my eyes at the club.

BOOM, my good feelings gone, confidence gone, depressive introverted mode back. Fuck everything, fuck the world, fuck people, fuck women - they are all cold hearted cunts. I will never ever allow myself to get heart broken like that - These were my thoughts.

During the last months of our relationship, I had somehow got in contact with "pick up artists" thru different forums.

Not that surprisingly - I got obsessed. Reading about every damn pick up method and company out there. Today 5 years later Im probably one of the worlds most knowledgeable guys about pick up - IN THEORY. In practise? Probably one of theworst.


Going further. At 20 (when still with my girlfriend), I graduated high-school - no more school for me, time to start "living". Within a couple of months I got a job at a company providing help service about electricity and technical problems thru phone to customers. 4 months then I got fired ("You dont seem motivated enough for this job") - Well they were right, the job sucked and the pay was shit. Well, getting fired put me into a depressive mood, spending lots of time home alone eating cookies watching shows.

Almost a year went by, trying to apply for some jobs but supposenly it was very difficult to get one in a small town like this, and at this time I didnt want to move. Eventually I got "practise" at a inventory, using forklift. Very simple stuff and not exactly mentally stimulating.

Oh and btw, I moved to my own apartment on my 19th birthday, I could do it without a job because I had lots of money savings after my father who passed away in cancer when I was 11 years old.


22, no girlfriend no more, I applied for a 2 year IT program at college. I got in but somehow my motivation was pure shit and after 2 years I had completed only around 70 college points of 120 necessary. This fucked up my self esteem even more and I moved home to my moms house again - living in my childhood room.

Now Im 25, last time I had sex is almost 3.5 years ago. I dont have much money, I have no drivers licence. I have no real education. I dont have my own place. I havent bought new clothes in 2 years. I have almost no real friends left. I watch my peers getting girlfriends, familities, partying while my myself aint doing shit.

Im very knowledge about pick up, evolutionary theory and biology. I know of female hypergamy, I know how they in general - when looking for sex - go for the top males in the hiearchy who gets almost all the action while the rest of males have to fight for the left overs, they did so in high school and they still do (in a more subtle way) in adult life.

Eventually when its time to settle down, they find a providing beta male whos a "nice guy" she doesnt have to worry cheating on her with other girls - This is nothing to strive for. You WANT to be the top male, you WANT to be the one she is obsessing over, in love all over her heels -> while ofcourse being a good man and nice to her.

I havent applied almost nothing of my PU knowledge, I dont have practical experience. My current living situation limits me from going out there in practise - Good luck in a small 23.000 people town.

The thing is, I LOOK like a "cool person", I have good looks, Im very muscular due to 8 years of hardcore lifting. I have great agility, I consider myself as above average in intelligence - even tho sometimes very unmotivated and lazy.

When I meet new people, they figure me as a popular guy. I have loose contact with some girls who really do believe Im some kind of player with a 3 digit lay count.

Its freaky, I feel so incongruent, Im a mix, a hybrid between a fucking lonely unmotivated lazy nerd loser and a muscular good looking dude.


I got myself a job, by the way. Or actually, its 2 jobs, employed by hour only but theres lots of work to do so its almost like a real 8 hour a day employment. A simple job, but a very physical one. The pay is pretty okay regarding you dont need no education for it. 150 swedish kronors an hour (about 20 dollar) - considering the fact Im living with my mom hence no apartment to pay for, I can save alot of money. Ive only had these jobs for 2 months, so I dont have much money yet, but soon enough I will be able to finally afford a drivers licence and a place of my own.


Could anyone please tell me its not game over yet? I feel old, next year Ill be fucking 26 and I havent done shit with my life. Time is really just passing my in a second and I have no fucking idea what happened to the last 6 years of my life, its just like a big fog of nothing. What did I learn? Who did I get to know? Which new connections did I make? Which girls did I meet? Nothing, just a big fucking fog of almost nothing.

My sexual skills is most likely pure shit by now, hell I havent gotten laid in soon to be 4 years. Ive had plenty of opportunities, how the hell that could happen - maybe due to the fact Im above average in looks, I dont know, It doesnt matter really, cause I havent used these opportunities and now I feel almost like a virgin again.

My social skills aint good, I get anxious in social situations, I dont really "know" how to make new friends no more. New years eve is coming up and I will most likely spend it alone, as I did the last 4 years. Sometimes It feels like its just not worth it, Im too much behind my peers in terms of financial success, social skills, social connections and sexual experience/skills. Too much of a struggle and maybe just time to end it all. 2 minutes later I feel hope again thinking that my situation isnt that bad after all and that I should stop being a little bitch.


I want to pick up and have sex with more girls, I want to get more sexual experiences with different women that I lost out on the last 5 years. I want to make new friends, maybe get a better job, I want to move to a larger city, get my drivers licence. I want to build a fucking life as an adult and not live with my mom. I just want to feel normal again.

I want to get invitations of new years eve, mid summer and other holidays. Right now its like I dont exist, people dont really know what Im doing, where Im at or where Im going - something I dont even know myself.

I spend my free time surfing facebook, different news sites and forums. Adding going to the gym 4-5 times a week and thats my life.

Work (whenever its needed), go to gym, brows the internet. No friends who call me, no girls to spend time with, no real hobbies or activities more than working out. 25 years old going 26. Thats my life, right now a fucking loser at life with no purpose or life mission, floating around not knowing which iceland to search for.


Anyone whove been in a similar situation? Did you get out of it? Is it even POSSIBLE to get out of it, given Ive wasted so many years doing shit?

Feel free to post your thoughts, tips, hatred, mocking or help, Im open for anything cause it cant really get worse.

Thankyou for your time.

// Kim

[Yes]

Ja, efter 25 är det slut på det roliga. Det går bara utför!

[eternallord]

Ingen tl/dr ens?

[Akerhage]

Ursprungligen postat av eternallord

Ingen tl/dr ens?

kunde han bjudit på helt klart!

[Vinter]

Jag var lite sådan runt 24. Jag gick då naturvetenskapligt basår på en folkhögskola, skaffade mig nya vänner och målsättningar. Började deltidsjobba osv.

Ta dig bort från datorn och hitta nya saker att göra i verkliga livet är ett hett tips.
Det där med sex och tjejer i allmänhet, kommer av sig själv när man faktiskt träffar på dem i verkligheten. Lite väl mycket fokus på fel saker tycker jag.

[Petoria]

Gör något åt det då. Du kan inte förvänta dig att ditt liv automatiskt ska bli bättre.

[Ado2000]

Om du har disciplinen å träna "Hardcore" på gymmet i 8 år så borde du fan kunna klara av å påbörja någon utbildning å klara den.

[Masterpan]

Sluta tänk destruktiva, begränsande tankar. Du kan göra nåt åt det om du vill.

[Olegh]

Har egentligen inget konstruktivt att säga. Men det där låter ju inte låter så farligt. Du behöver ju "bara" hitta tillbaka till ditt gamla jag.

[Kimslicer]

Jo jag vet, antar jag. Jag säger det hela tiden till mig själv - "Det är inte så farligt" - Vilket iofs är sant, jämfört med många andra.

Likförbannat sitter jag här just nu utan någon plan och utan något att göra. Har för tillfället feber så kanske är lite extra deprimerad, kakpaket i handen surfandes runt på olika forum/facebook. Ingen nyårsfest i år, vilket inte direkt var oväntat. Ingen vän som ringer, i stort sett inget alls att göra. Längtar tills tisdag då gymet har öppet en sväng igen så jag får något att göra några timmar.

[*Flash*]

När jag var 26 år gammal hade jag varit heltidssjukskriven i 4 år.
Nu är jag 28 och livet börjar snarare se ljusare ut än mörkare på ålderns höst om det är någon tröst.

Du har alla möjligheterna förutsatt att du är så intelligent som du påstår, du har väl antagligen en kropp som du är rätt nöjd med efter alla år på gym och du påstår dig veta hur man raggar upp tjejer, samt att du skriver att du ser bra ut.
Sluta whina och gör något åt det.

[Petoria]

Ring och fråga om någon vill hitta på något då, vänta inte på att någon ska kontakta dig.

[Vinter]

Ursprungligen postat av Kimslicer

Jo jag vet, antar jag. Jag säger det hela tiden till mig själv - "Det är inte så farligt" - Vilket iofs är sant, jämfört med många andra.

Likförbannat sitter jag här just nu utan någon plan och utan något att göra. Har för tillfället feber så kanske är lite extra deprimerad, kakpaket i handen surfandes runt på olika forum/facebook. Ingen nyårsfest i år, vilket inte direkt var oväntat. Ingen vän som ringer, i stort sett inget alls att göra. Längtar tills tisdag då gymet har öppet en sväng igen så jag får något att göra några timmar.

Jadu, om inte vännerna ringer så får man ta och ringa till vännerna själv.

pucktvåa.....

[Yes]

Skaffa jobb i Stockholm, fixa ett enkelt andrahandsboende och sök till universitet till hösten.

[tlk]

Dina teoretiska pick-up skills och kunskaper om hur kvinnor är pga. evolutionen föreslår jag att du spolar ner i avloppet någonstans.

Utöver det så skaffa dig en utbildning. Du verkar inte vara dum i huvudet så sök något stimulerande på vettig högskola och flytta till studentkorridor.