dåliga sexistiska skämt

[Cilia]

bara för att det är en sån seg kväll och jag försöker värma upp mig efter fotbollsmatchen så ska jag tracka er med dåliga skämt som jag bombas med.


#1

WHITE WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her good night.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti &
meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a
>3-karat
ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of
having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing
happens
again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already
realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive
dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and
have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his
girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their k ids, her
grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her
sister's
boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for
the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks
like a home along the Rio Grande.


The "POINT" .

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?

[Cilia]

#2


A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his
father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's
three kinds of breasts.

In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are
like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After
fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you
see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the
daughter said, "Mum, How many kinds of 'willies' are
there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,"Well
dear, a man goes through three phases. In his
twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and
hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch,
flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like
a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for
decoration.

[Cilia]

den här postade jag tidigare men det verkar inte vara ngn som uppskattade den så därför får ni den igen för att verkligen förpesta fredagen.

#3

Hurricane Katrina


Typical female! When she came she was warm, wild and wet. When she left,
she took the house and contents with her.

[Ryska_raketen]

ja du har rätt. dom var dåliga.

[Davil]

Ursprungligen postat av Cilia

#2


A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his
father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's
three kinds of breasts.

In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are
like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After
fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you
see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the
daughter said, "Mum, How many kinds of 'willies' are
there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,"Well
dear, a man goes through three phases. In his
twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and
hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch,
flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like
a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for
decoration.

Den var lite rolig faktist

[Cilia]

Tack Davil

#4

World's Shortest Fairy Tale:
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will
you marry me?"
The girl said "No."
And the guy lived happily ever after and went
golfing a lot.

THE END

[Cilia]

#5

A man walks into a bar. He sees a good looking, smartly dressed
woman perched on a bar stool. He walks up behind her and says, "Hi
there good looking, how's it going?

She turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and
says, "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place,
my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got
out of college. I just flat out love it."

He says, "No kidding? I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?

[Mighty]

Hahaha

Var ju min typ av humor det här

[no1fitness]

Ha ha, underhållande.

[Dav0d]

Wunderbart . ÄLskar sådant..

[Jarod]

Vad tänker de på?

Två unga gossar, Uffe och Torsten, befinner sig på varsin sida av jordklotet.

Uffe balanserar på en smal lina högt uppe i luften mellan två skyskrapor medan Torsten blir avsugen av en nittioårig gammal dam.

Trots det stora geografiska avståndet samt de vitt skilda aktiviteterna så tänker de på samma sak. Vad tänker de på???

Vet du? (Rätt svar lite längre ned)


















































Inte titta ner, inte titta ner, inte titta ner.........

[bosse_brutal]

[harre]

Ursprungligen postat av Cilia

den här postade jag tidigare men det verkar inte vara ngn som uppskattade den så därför får ni den igen för att verkligen förpesta fredagen.

#3

Hurricane Katrina


Typical female! When she came she was warm, wild and wet. When she left,
she took the house and contents with her.

jag vet inte varför det inte uppskattades, men KAN det vara för att det är bland de vanligaste o tråkigaste skämten nånsin? bara en tanke..

[grisbil3n]

Mycket bra alihopa!

[Mr. Moose]

A woman rushes home, bursting through the front door of her house,
yelling to her husband:

"Pack your bags Honey, I've just won the lottery! All $5 million
dollars of it...Woooo Hooo!!"

"That's great, sweetie! " he replies, "Do I pack for the Beach or
for the Mountains?"

"I don't really care" she says, ......"Just f#*k off!!"