Diggler
2006-09-03, 09:57
It seems this has become a popular position here on bb.com lately, so I’ve decided to make a few guidelines to help those of you struggling to bring the inner e-expert out of you. Here we go:
Attitude: This is, perhaps, the most important thing an e-expert has to have. This is your bread and butter boys, listen up. You are NEVER wrong. It doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say, you are right and they’re gonna hear about it. Remember, everyone else is an idiot, except you. ALWAYS make sure your voice is heard. Don’t have anything to add to a convo? Doesn’t matter. Gonna repeat what someone else has already said? Good, hearing it from you makes it that much more right. Always put in the last word in an argument, it makes no difference what the other poster is arguing about, as long as you make the last post. Then claim victory.
Knowledge: This is what you need to know. Deadlifts are a god’s gift to man, if you’re ever confused about anything, deadlifts are the answer. 5x5 is the right choice for anyone, anytime. It doesn’t matter if it’s Kevin Levrone on the other side looking for advice, 5x5 will help him reach unheard of gains. Body part splits SUCK! Why? Because they don’t involve “powerbuilding” and have a tendency to include those crappy isolation movements nobody needs. Anything a noob is even remotely interested in is ****ing retarded and not worth your time(except to make fun of). This includes the benchpress and training arms. Pointless things that nobody should ever care about. Last, but not least, anyone who has qualifications in training is a douche. They are all outdated and they don’t know what they’re talking about. What could they possibly know that you haven’t found out through bbing.com? By the way, if you spend more than 6 hours on pubmed you are more qualified than a doctor. It’s a fact.
Short Term Memory: As an e-expert, you’ve got to have a short term memory. Be like a quarter back, if you throw an interception, quickly forget about it and head back onto the field like nothing happened. Just got your ass served to you on a silver platter? Wait 10 minutes, than proceed to post as usual. Also, remember the time you tried that popular training program about 2 months ago and it didn’t really work? That’s right, neither do I. It never happened, and it’s probably genetics anyway. Remember, what you know right now(refrence “knowledge”) is completely true, no matter if you tried it or not. What’s important is that it makes sense RIGHT NOW, in front of your monitor, the other stuff doesn’t matter.
E-friends are vital: Remember, almost no e-expert can win an argument on his own. So, quickly run to the nearest “chat thread(the one with the most posts...you'll notice it)” start spamming away. Let them know how your day is going and what you had for breakfast. They’ll like it, I promise! Nothing bonds posters closer together than mundane one liner posts. And don’t you ever doubt that what you’re posting about isn’t interesting! Remember, you’re an e-expert and everything you do is great. Use these contacts later as reinforcement for your arguments, you can not lose!
Use these simple guidelines and you too can become a successful e-expert. Have fun. Dat dere cell tech
Byt ut deadlifts mot DJUUUPA BÖÖJ för kolozzeumversionen.
:D
Attitude: This is, perhaps, the most important thing an e-expert has to have. This is your bread and butter boys, listen up. You are NEVER wrong. It doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say, you are right and they’re gonna hear about it. Remember, everyone else is an idiot, except you. ALWAYS make sure your voice is heard. Don’t have anything to add to a convo? Doesn’t matter. Gonna repeat what someone else has already said? Good, hearing it from you makes it that much more right. Always put in the last word in an argument, it makes no difference what the other poster is arguing about, as long as you make the last post. Then claim victory.
Knowledge: This is what you need to know. Deadlifts are a god’s gift to man, if you’re ever confused about anything, deadlifts are the answer. 5x5 is the right choice for anyone, anytime. It doesn’t matter if it’s Kevin Levrone on the other side looking for advice, 5x5 will help him reach unheard of gains. Body part splits SUCK! Why? Because they don’t involve “powerbuilding” and have a tendency to include those crappy isolation movements nobody needs. Anything a noob is even remotely interested in is ****ing retarded and not worth your time(except to make fun of). This includes the benchpress and training arms. Pointless things that nobody should ever care about. Last, but not least, anyone who has qualifications in training is a douche. They are all outdated and they don’t know what they’re talking about. What could they possibly know that you haven’t found out through bbing.com? By the way, if you spend more than 6 hours on pubmed you are more qualified than a doctor. It’s a fact.
Short Term Memory: As an e-expert, you’ve got to have a short term memory. Be like a quarter back, if you throw an interception, quickly forget about it and head back onto the field like nothing happened. Just got your ass served to you on a silver platter? Wait 10 minutes, than proceed to post as usual. Also, remember the time you tried that popular training program about 2 months ago and it didn’t really work? That’s right, neither do I. It never happened, and it’s probably genetics anyway. Remember, what you know right now(refrence “knowledge”) is completely true, no matter if you tried it or not. What’s important is that it makes sense RIGHT NOW, in front of your monitor, the other stuff doesn’t matter.
E-friends are vital: Remember, almost no e-expert can win an argument on his own. So, quickly run to the nearest “chat thread(the one with the most posts...you'll notice it)” start spamming away. Let them know how your day is going and what you had for breakfast. They’ll like it, I promise! Nothing bonds posters closer together than mundane one liner posts. And don’t you ever doubt that what you’re posting about isn’t interesting! Remember, you’re an e-expert and everything you do is great. Use these contacts later as reinforcement for your arguments, you can not lose!
Use these simple guidelines and you too can become a successful e-expert. Have fun. Dat dere cell tech
Byt ut deadlifts mot DJUUUPA BÖÖJ för kolozzeumversionen.
:D