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Visa fullständig version : Mannens regler


Tricklev
2006-06-22, 23:24
Får se om någon finner denna rolig då... Och ja, den är skamlöst kopierad.

We always hear"the rules"
from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports.
It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don 't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as
baseball, the shotgun formation, or monst! er truck s.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.
Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping. :)

Och nej, denna post reflekterar inte mina åsikter. Nej ni behöver inte komma in och skrika att ni vet allt om tjejer, och tjejer, ni behöver inte skrika att jag har fel heller. Det är bara ett skämt.

andeN.
2006-06-22, 23:45
:laugh:

MilkmaN
2006-06-22, 23:48
Småroligt men samtidigt löjligt till stora delar.

bluelight
2006-06-22, 23:54
Hahaha, stämmer så bra.

Fartman
2006-06-23, 00:12
Fanns några sköna tex "Ask for what you want" :thumbup:

ugglan
2006-06-23, 00:14
http://www.manlaws.com/

Mental
2006-06-23, 00:20
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as
baseball, the shotgun formation, or monst! er truck s.

1. I am in shape.
Round is a shape.



Detta var det jag tycker käns relevant.
Men det är ju så självklart tycker jag.

Tolkia
2006-06-23, 00:43
Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
Det kan ju diskuteras om han inte hade behövt det på vissa punkter .... :D

Tricklev
2006-06-23, 00:47
Det kan ju diskuteras om han inte hade behövt det på vissa punkter .... :D

:thumbup:

Jense
2006-06-23, 00:56
OJA KUL HUMÅR, STURSTADSHUMÅR hJETE RKOL