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Visa fullständig version : "Worst porn-titles"


X-Change
2007-07-24, 15:03
Internet är bra för många saker. t ex för att hitta en lista med dem sämsta porrtittlarna...

Enjoy!


GROSS - these are disgusting titles that should turn you off completely

# HE ANAL GIRLS OF TOBACCO ROAD 2 : VAGINA SLIMES - The title that started me on this list. "Virginia Slims" becomes "Vagina Slimes" ? That's disgusting ! You get the idea.

# LET'S PLAY STAIN THE COUCH - And then invite all our friends over and watch them try to guess what that smell is !

# CRACK WHORES OF AMERICA - Because nothing turns a guy on more than needle tracks and missing teeth ...

# PRIME CUTS: YO QUIERO TACO SMELL - I know when I get down there, I want to smell refried beans !

# AMATEURS ONLY #129": I'M A BROWN SHIT-HOLED WHORE - Some people like poo, so maybe I shouldn't have included this one. What can I say, it just has a certain poetry to it.

# SEX STARVED FUCK SLUTS #22: STINKY WHITE WOMEN - Why would you want to have sex with somebody who is stinky ? You are a puzzle, sir.


GROAN - bad puns, horrible plays on words, stupid Hollywood movie name adaptations

# DUDE, WHERE'S MY DILDO ? - Bad movie, probably a bad porno based on a bad movie.

# ULTRA KINKY #79: BOWLIN' IN HER COLON - Bowling balls and colons, such a pretty image.

# ASS-HOLE O MIO - You've got to be kidding.

# HOMEGROWN VIDEO #489 : FUCK THE CANUCK - Trouble rhyming "bitch" today ?

# BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA - Kurt Russell should be so lucky ...

# GOOD ASSTERNOON - I want to see a porno with really amazing dialogue. This won't be it.

# BACKDOOR ADVENTURES OF BUTTHEAD AND BEAVER - Too obvious.

# HINDFELD - A porno about nothing.

# TEA BAGGER VANCE - Did anybody see the original movie ? Yeah, whatever.

# MUSIC TO FUCK TO: ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES A LABIA - I would watch this if they actually got
Lionel Richie to sing the new lyrics with a
close-up shot of him crying.

# GERANALMO - Sure, why not ?

# BRASSIERE TO ETERNITY - You're reaching ...

# TIG OL' BITTIES - Spoonerisms can be fun. Sometimes not.

# MOULIN SPLOOGE - You saw this one coming ...

# TITS OF FURY - ... but not this one ...

# GERMAN WHORE FARE - Well, I groaned ...

# SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN ... SHE'S A VAGITARIAN - Sigh ...

# TOOKIE RAIDER - Tookie ? Tookie You're just making up words now.

# MUFFUGNUGEN - That's just lame, man.

# PRIME CUTS: ONE FELL INTO THE POO-POO'S NEST - You went to college for this ?

# FILTHY FUCKERS #184: POKE 'ER MON - Who exactly is your target audience ?

# RIMMERAMA - It does kind of roll off the tongue, though.

# HOOTERS AND THE BLOWJOBS - Sometimes the music in porn movies is kind of interesting. Not this time.

# HUNG WANKENSTEIN - Two, count 'em, TWO bad puns in one title ! I want this job !

STUPID - poorly chosen titles for various reasons

# SEX - This is so wonderfully descriptive, there are TWO movies with this title.

# THE SPLENDOR OF HELL - Nothing gets me going more than the thought of the sin I am committing
at the time and the eventual suffering I am
bringing upon myself.

# COCKLESS 19 - All-girl videos are okay if not kinda dull, but I get a sort of castration vibe from this one ...

# WET AND FROSTY - Are you talking about sex or beer ?

# WHY THINGS BURN - It's called a venereal disease ...

# AMATEURS ONLY #131: HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS GOING TO TAKE - Guys love it when girls ask that question.

# BABY GIRL - A big disappointment for pedophiles.

# ANAL CHIROPRACTOR - What, in case your ass is out of alignment ? Yeesh.

# HUSH ! MY MOTHER MIGHT HEAR US ! - More of a turn-off for women viewers ...

# S.I.D.S.: SEXUALLY INTRUSIVE DYSFUNCTIONAL SOCIETY - Not Sudden Infant Death Syndrome,
which always gets me hot.

# PRICE IS RIGHT - "Hey, let's name our new porn
movie after a game show whose host wants to neuter your family dog !"

# SNOW WHITE AND THE THREE DWARFS - You're only
calling attention to the fact that you're ripping
us off to the tune of four dwarves.

# ABS OF CUM - That doesn't make any sense.

# DEAD MEN DON'T WEAR RUBBERS - You could get AIDS and DIE

# SEX IN THE COMICS - This one actually looks
pretty interesting. It's porn stars made up to
look like cartoon characters having sex. Normal
people probably don't want to see this, though ...

# TOPLESS BRAIN SURGEONS - No, I want you
concentrating on my BRAIN during the operation ...

# YOUR QUIM IS MY GYM - Stupid, nonsensical, you are an object to be scorned.

# THEORY OF RELATIVITY - That Einstein, what a hottie.

# FELANALINGUS - "I made up a new word !" "Wow ! Let's hope it catches on !"

# K-FCK ... THE ONLY THING MISSING IS YOU ! - A five year old retard might think that was funny or
clever, but only out of pity.

# BRIANNA LEE'S RED HOT WEINIE ROAST - Nobody is roasting my weinie. Go away.

# UNBALANCED CHEMICALS - Psychotics can be sexy too !

# STRAIGHT A STUDENTS - Why would I want to watch a porn movie where nobody gets to have sex ?

# LET'S PLAY ANAL TWISTER - That sounds somewhat painful. I'm glad you're not my friend.

# TUG BOAT - "Hello ? We make porno movies here. P-O-R-N-O. Do you understand ?"

# HEROIN - In answer to the question, what is wrong with the lead actress ?

# HAMLET : FOR THE LOVE OF OPHELIA #1 - Your average porn movie consumer will have no idea what
this is a reference to.

# ACID SEX - It burns ! It burns !

# ADULT MOVIE (A.K.A. PORN MOVIE) - Whew, thank goodness. I didn't know what this was.
I'm glad that's all cleared up.

# RI DICK U LOUS: CHOCOLATE CAN HARDLY HANDLE IT ! - When you named this movie, you were
contemplating suicide, weren't you ? You should.

# FAT THE BALD AND THE UGLY - Well, at least they're accessible ...

# SANDWICH OF LOVE - Nobody ever got laid using this phrase. It's just not possible there's a
woman this stupid out there.

# PERVERTED ADVENTURES OF SUPER DAVE #1 - It's a different Dave, not Super Dave Osbourne. But
that's who you're thinking about right now, aren't
you ? And is it turning you on ? Huh ?

# AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FLEA - Yay ! My girlfriend is infested with tiny mites ! I am so happy !

# FRYSTIX - Who approved this ? Some porn producer who needed a tax shelter, that's who.

# ALL ANAL ON THE WESTERN FRONT - Not a good pun, not even a bad pun.

# HITLER SUCKS - Next time you have sex, when you're close to cumming, think of the Holocaust.
Oh yeah, that's it.

# MASK - Not the movie with Cher and that weird-looking kid. But it might as well be.

# SKID ROW - Which mental image is worse, the worst section of town with all the drug dealers
and hookers, or the band ?

# ANAL FIREBALL - Oh, ouch.


WHAT THE HELL ... ? - No clue, no idea, no sale

# AIRTIGHT GRANNY - What is an airtight granny ? Why is she airtight ? Is that a good thing or a
bad thing ? I don't want to know !

# SECRETARIA EJECUTIVA #1: BROAD OF DIRECTORS - Ejecu-what ?

# SHRIMPIN' LOBSTER SAUCE - What does going to Sizzler have to do with porn ?

# A HORSE'S TAIL - It's not a bestiality video. If it was, it would be a good title. But it's not.

# E-THREE THE EXTRA TESTICLE - There is SO much wrong with this one ...

# SIRLOIN TITS - What were you thinking ? I'll bet there's an A-1 Sauce joke in there somewhere.

# BIG AS THIS BOX #1 - What exactly is "big as this box" ? And is it the same rough shape ... ?

# TITALLICA: MASTER OF PUPPIES - Puppies ? Puppies ?!!

# MEAT LOAF: TV DINNER BOX BIG, HUGE, MEATY COCKS - And I am out of the porn store like a bat
out of hell ...

# ONION PLANET - I have no idea what this means. Something to do with onions, perhaps. And a
planet.

# WHITE MEN CAN'T IRON ON BUTT ROW - Can't ... iron ? What about folding shirts ? Can white men
do that ?

# SUPER DRIPPING WET SERIES #3: CARNAL CASSEROLE - Yum, reminds me of mom's !

# KID VEGAS WATCH ME CAMP BITCH ! - This one's actually about going camping. If I were a woman,
yes, you would have to threaten me to get me to
watch you camp.



THE PORN STORE CLERK LAUGHED AT ME - titles that are so stupidly funny, you can't stop laughing and enjoy the movie


# CLIMAX SHOTS #70: MY BROWN EYE, NOT THE WINKER, THE STINKER - Rhyming is fun. Hey, what
rhymes with "loser" ?

# BUMPIN DONUTS - Uh, which body part is the donut again ?

# H.R. MUFF N' STUFF - Confusing childhood, was it ?

# AMBER THE LESBIAN QUEEFER - "Queefer" is just a funny word.

# MAY THE FORESKIN BE WITH YOU - Geek ! *cough cough*

# RED HOT CHO CHOS - I don't know what it means, but I heard some other kid on the playground use
it ...

# WILLIE WANKER AND THE FUDGE PACKING FACTORY - Your fantasy life is sad.

# PRETTY LIL' SISTAS #1: BEAUTIFUL BLACK POPOZUDAS ! - Nobody talks like this. Nobody. I
hope.

# BEEPING MISS BUFFY - Coyote's after you ...

# BACKDOOR LAMBADA - A taste for bad porn and horrifically out of date. Why hasn't some woman
snapped you up yet ?

# WALL TO WALL #24: HELLO TITTY - "Good evening, sir. Ah, I see you have the erotic tastes of a
young Japanese girl !"

# ACAPULCO #1: MALIBOOBIES - Hooters ! Headlights ! Ta-ta's ! Grow the fuck up !

# BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRA MILKMAIDS - Oh, let me guess -- this is an art film ?

# AFRO-CENTRIX #36: PUMPIN' THE PO-PO - Don't even try to tell me that's ebonics ...

# WHAT'S THE LESBIAN DOING IN MY PIRATE MOVIE ? - She's trying to earn enough to feed her crack
habit.

# LUSTY LIFE #89: SLIDE YOUR LONG LOAF IN MY HOT OVEN - What ... what is wrong with you ?

# ADVENTURES OF THE FART BITCHES - Ha ha ha ha Fart Bitches.

MasterChief
2007-07-24, 15:51
Hmm. Jag har sett alla :-/

tjabon
2007-07-24, 16:34
det finns en skådis som heter Arnold Schwartzenpecker.....

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0777504/

Hädelse!*grr27*

Yes
2007-07-24, 18:30
Hmm. Jag har sett alla :-/
Hur fick du tag i "Topless Brain Surgeons"? Jag har letat länge efter den...

Dnepr
2007-07-24, 18:35
Hur fick du tag i "Topless Brain Surgeons"? Jag har letat länge efter den...

Jag hörde rykten om att det var en homosexuell cyklist från Södertälje som hade den och la ut den på DC i slutet på 2004. Det kan hända att han hade kontakter den vägen.

Yes
2007-07-24, 18:52
Låter konstigt. Varför har en homosexuell cyklist heteroporr i sin samling? Eller det kanske är barbröstade manliga kirurger? Isåfall tänker jag kräva pengarna tillbaks...

Dnepr
2007-07-24, 18:54
Låter konstigt. Varför har en homosexuell cyklist heteroporr i sin samling? Eller det kanske är barbröstade manliga kirurger? Isåfall tänker jag kräva pengarna tillbaks...

DC funkar ju som så att ju mer man har att erbjuda - desto mer får man ta del av. Det är därför jag har Kicki Danielsson i min mapp, bara för att dryga ut mina GB.

Yes
2007-07-24, 18:59
Och det förväntar du oss att vi ska tro på, att det är därför du har Kicki Danielsson på din dator?

Dnepr
2007-07-24, 19:02
Och det förväntar du oss att vi ska tro på, att det är därför du har Kicki Danielsson på din dator?

Okej då, jag har kanske lyssnat på henne några ggr, men det hör faktiskt inte hit!!1

MasterChief
2007-07-24, 19:05
Okej då, jag har kanske lyssnat på henne några ggr, men det hör faktiskt inte hit!!1

Den stora frågan är ju vad du gör när du lyssnar.

Angående Topless...så har jag den som camversion på super8 filmad från båset i den där butiken på södermalm...

FreCKo
2007-07-24, 19:06
DC funkar ju som så att ju mer man har att erbjuda - desto mer får man ta del av. Det är därför jag har Kicki Danielsson i min mapp, bara för att dryga ut mina GB.

Tänder du på Kicki Danielsson? *spy*

Dnepr
2007-07-24, 19:08
Tänder du på Kicki Danielsson? *spy*

Nej.

Yes
2007-07-24, 19:09
Angående Topless...så har jag den som camversion på super8 filmad från båset i den där butiken på södermalm...
Dirty! :D

MasterChief
2007-07-24, 19:15
Dirty! :D

Haha. Jag hade faktiskt en kompis som extraknäckte på en xxx-videobutik på söder med runkbås. Han själv var inte intresserad utan gjorde det för de svarta pengarna. En kväll kom en kund aldrig ut från ett av båsen. Efter ihärdiga knackningar var han tvungen att låsa upp. Då låg mannen (som hade anlänt till butiken med kostym) insvept naken i gladpack på golvet. På duken rullade en film med 90-åringar.

Han slutade.

Yes
2007-07-24, 19:29
Haha. Jag hade faktiskt en kompis som extraknäckte på en xxx-videobutik på söder med runkbås. Han själv var inte intresserad utan gjorde det för de svarta pengarna. En kväll kom en kund aldrig ut från ett av båsen. Efter ihärdiga knackningar var han tvungen att låsa upp. Då låg mannen (som hade anlänt till butiken med kostym) insvept naken i gladpack på golvet. På duken rullade en film med 90-åringar.

Han slutade.
kan... inte... sluta... skratta... :laugh:

Låter som ett intressant jobb annars. Hur landar man ett sånt? Jag har märkt att jag är mycket attraktiv hos tanter och bögar, om nu det har någon betydelse...

MasterChief
2007-07-24, 19:43
kan... inte... sluta... skratta... :laugh:

Låter som ett intressant jobb annars. Hur landar man ett sånt? Jag har märkt att jag är mycket attraktiv hos tanter och bögar, om nu det har någon betydelse...

Det var på 90-talet innan internet. Men du har talang så det är bara att skicka cv. Kommer ihåg att du sagt att jag liknar Joe och när jag tänker på dig så hör jag gigidi gigidi all right.


:D

Marcelo_Garcia
2007-07-24, 21:26
det finns en skådis som heter Arnold Schwartzenpecker.....


Finns nån svensk som kallar sig "Bred Pitt" också, tyckte jag var lite fyndigt haha ;)

tjabon
2007-07-25, 01:05
Finns nån svensk som kallar sig "Bred Pitt" också, tyckte jag var lite fyndigt haha ;)

Min kompis Peter som jobbar med Aktuell Rapports filmer i
Malmö har aldrig hört talas om nån "Bred Pitt".
Har du nån referens?

Du misstar dej inte på dom italienska komikerna Bred e Pitt?
http://www.bredepitt.it/

Marcelo_Garcia
2007-07-25, 01:26
Min kompis Peter som jobbar med Aktuell Rapports filmer i
Malmö har aldrig hört talas om nån "Bred Pitt".
Har du nån referens?

Du misstar dej inte på dom italienska komikerna Bred e Pitt?
http://www.bredepitt.it/

Nä, jag såg det i eftertexterna på nån kortporris nån gång. Har ingen referens dock.

Yes
2007-07-25, 05:04
Det var på 90-talet innan internet. Men du har talang så det är bara att skicka cv. Kommer ihåg att du sagt att jag liknar Joe och när jag tänker på dig så hör jag gigidi gigidi all right.


:D
Enligt en kompis är jag "som Quagmire, fast värre...", så du har nog fått rätt bild av mig. :D