Officer
2006-07-24, 08:09
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.
MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.
APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate
during the night.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that
is the beginning of a new argument.
COMPREHENSION
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage
and after marriage.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.
MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.
APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate
during the night.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that
is the beginning of a new argument.
COMPREHENSION
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage
and after marriage.