Tricklev
2006-01-18, 16:13
Dags för en hyllningstråd till Chuck Norris, vi har haft en massa till diverse byggare, men nu är det chucks tur. Först lite roliga skämt:
When Chuck Norris jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own
Chuck Norris knows the sound of one hand clapping
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a *beep* Indian
Chuck Norris trains in the nude in the middle of Time Square during the day, no tv station dares to report it
Whenever Chuck Norris makes a joke, the sound of an audience laughing comes out of nowhere. Chuck will then turn to you, smile, and give you two thumbs up. After that, everything freezes, even you are unable to move. The laughter then turns into music as credits begin to scroll down from thin air. Finally, your sight fades to black and there is nothing. When you regain your sight and mobility, Chuck Norris is nowhere to be found
Chuck Norris has only celebrated April Fools Day once. The result was homosexuals
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday
Chuck Norris rescued over thirteen infants from Charity Hospital following the devestation of Hurricane Katrina. He did not have a boat. He has not returned the babies.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to *beep*
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later they discovered is the cause of Parkinson's disease.
Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the *beep* down!
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive &#&$%ion. There were no survivors.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's *beep*
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Och efter detta följer självklart lite obligatoriska bilder:
http://aces.tabulas.com/tarebear/thumbs/grand-master-chuck-norris-bn.jpg
http://www.celebritydetective.com/cnorris.jpg
When Chuck Norris jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own
Chuck Norris knows the sound of one hand clapping
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a *beep* Indian
Chuck Norris trains in the nude in the middle of Time Square during the day, no tv station dares to report it
Whenever Chuck Norris makes a joke, the sound of an audience laughing comes out of nowhere. Chuck will then turn to you, smile, and give you two thumbs up. After that, everything freezes, even you are unable to move. The laughter then turns into music as credits begin to scroll down from thin air. Finally, your sight fades to black and there is nothing. When you regain your sight and mobility, Chuck Norris is nowhere to be found
Chuck Norris has only celebrated April Fools Day once. The result was homosexuals
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday
Chuck Norris rescued over thirteen infants from Charity Hospital following the devestation of Hurricane Katrina. He did not have a boat. He has not returned the babies.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to *beep*
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later they discovered is the cause of Parkinson's disease.
Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the *beep* down!
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive &#&$%ion. There were no survivors.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's *beep*
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Och efter detta följer självklart lite obligatoriska bilder:
http://aces.tabulas.com/tarebear/thumbs/grand-master-chuck-norris-bn.jpg
http://www.celebritydetective.com/cnorris.jpg