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Visa fullständig version : Hjälp


a_p
2005-04-15, 14:19
Tack för hjälpen alla som postade, fick precis iväg brevet i tid. :)

The Mentor
2005-04-15, 14:35
Pejsta här så jelper vi.

a_p
2005-04-15, 15:08
..

mini
2005-04-15, 15:26
*It was a small city in the northern part of Sweden called Ornskoldsvik.
Jag skulle inte skriva om Ö-vik i dåtid eftersom staden finns kvar.
*Moments like these really makes all the training worthwhile.
Jag skulle nog skrivit those?
*Athletic fitness is a sport that’s kind of like bodybuilding but it’s still pretty different. The competition includes three stages, posing, strength and fitness
Fick ett lite suddigt och rörigt intryck av beskrivningen av AF. Som BB fast annorlunda, typ.. Kanske inte ska göra jämförelsen alls? Skulle även sätta ett : bakom three stages. Om det går att behålla flytet i brevet skulle jag fundera på att flytta texten om träning till resten av sporten.

In alles var det en bra och intressant text, lätt att följa, positiv. Jag hade bara småpet som du kan strunta fullkomligt i om du vill..
Lycka til!

a_p
2005-04-15, 15:39
*It was a small city in the northern part of Sweden called Ornskoldsvik.
Jag skulle inte skriva om Ö-vik i dåtid eftersom staden finns kvar.
*Moments like these really makes all the training worthwhile.
Jag skulle nog skrivit those?
*Athletic fitness is a sport that’s kind of like bodybuilding but it’s still pretty different. The competition includes three stages, posing, strength and fitness
Fick ett lite suddigt och rörigt intryck av beskrivningen av AF. Som BB fast annorlunda, typ.. Kanske inte ska göra jämförelsen alls? Skulle även sätta ett : bakom three stages. Om det går att behålla flytet i brevet skulle jag fundera på att flytta texten om träning till resten av sporten.

In alles var det en bra och intressant text, lätt att följa, positiv. Jag hade bara småpet som du kan strunta fullkomligt i om du vill..
Lycka til!


1. Ändrat, tack. :)
2. Satt faktiskt och funderade men tyckte those lät skevt.. ändrade till that nu vet inte om det är bättre eller inte.
3. Ändrat, tack. :)

The Mentor
2005-04-15, 15:46
I have to admit I was not ready for high school, or you could say, compulsory school had not prepared me for high school.

Jag skulle lägga till ett "that" här. Alltså: I have to admit that I was not ready for high school, or you could say, compulsory school had not prepared me for high school.

There was a huge leap in the amount of work you had to put in to be successful.

Jag skulle byta ut "work" med "effort".

Naturally it took some time to adopt, but unfortunately this is reflected in my grades.

Byt ut "adopt" mot "adapt".

We played really well and after a really tight game we took home the third place.

"Took home" känns lite svengelska i den kontexten. Jag skulle hellre skrivit: We played really well and after a really tight game we came in third place.

Tycker också det ser bra ut all-in-all, forumets engelskspråkiga medlemmar kanske kan bidra med mer hjälp? mmmCay? backflash?

Tomten
2005-04-15, 15:50
"some time to adopt, but"

adopt? borde väl vara adapt, du ska väl inte adoptera barn? :)

"We played really well and after a really tight game we took home the third place"

ersätt med...

"We played well and after a tight game we took home the third place"


"Every other night my father was forced to chase me and my brother across the street because we refused to go inside since we were having so much fun"

street, street, du kanske kan använda ett annat ord med samma/liknande betydelse?

"that would make me more efficient in the gym"

"that would make my training more efficent" låter kanske bättre?

"At the time this of course was very exiting as it meant a lot of new faces in the classroom"

at the time this was very exciting"

of course är onödigt.

"Me, I was more into building websites and programming in various programming languages"

varför "me" i början? Fyller väl ingen funktion?

reinholdsson
2005-04-15, 15:50
Jag kanske gör bort mig totalt nu, men meningen
My life begins nineteen years ago at the southern hospital in Stockholm, Sweden

Begins borde de inte vara began eller begun?

a_p
2005-04-15, 15:56
Jag skulle lägga till ett "that" här. Alltså: I have to admit that I was not ready for high school, or you could say, compulsory school had not prepared me for high school.



Jag skulle byta ut "work" med "effort".



Byt ut "adopt" mot "adapt".



"Took home" känns lite svengelska i den kontexten. Jag skulle hellre skrivit: We played really well and after a really tight game we came in third place.

Tycker också det ser bra ut all-in-all, forumets engelskspråkiga medlemmar kanske kan bidra med mer hjälp? mmmCay? backflash?


1. Ändrat, tack. :)
2. Jag ställer mig tveksam, hmm.
3. Ändrat, tack. :) heh blev lite fel det där..
4. Ändrat, blev "We played really well and after a really tight game we finished in third place."

Tack för input!

a_p
2005-04-15, 16:00
"some time to adopt, but"

adopt? borde väl vara adapt, du ska väl inte adoptera barn? :)

"We played really well and after a really tight game we took home the third place"

ersätt med...

"We played well and after a tight game we took home the third place"


"Every other night my father was forced to chase me and my brother across the street because we refused to go inside since we were having so much fun"

street, street, du kanske kan använda ett annat ord med samma/liknande betydelse?

"that would make me more efficient in the gym"

"that would make my training more efficent" låter kanske bättre?

"At the time this of course was very exiting as it meant a lot of new faces in the classroom"

at the time this was very exciting"

of course är onödigt.

"Me, I was more into building websites and programming in various programming languages"

varför "me" i början? Fyller väl ingen funktion?


1. Ändrat.
2. Ändrat.
3. Hm.
4. Hm.
5. Ändrat, tack. :)
6. Vet inte, tyckte det lät bra. ;)

mini
2005-04-15, 16:06
Man kan säga adopt. To adopt a new idea, till exempel. Så det beror på vad du menade...

Tomten
2005-04-15, 16:07
den här då.

*To learn more I started reading books and visiting internet forums trying to gather knowledge that would make me more efficient in the gym.

To learn more I started to read books and visited internet forums, trying to gather knowledge that would make my training more efficent.

edit: aja, blev inte riktigt bra den där heller :P

Tomten
2005-04-15, 16:08
Man kan säga adopt. To adopt a new idea, till exempel. Så det beror på vad du menade...

I det där sammanhanget är det däremot uppenbart att han menade adapt.

Trance
2005-04-15, 16:10
Skall även vara Internet och inte internet.