E-mails from an Asshole

[Wille005]

http://dontevenreply.com/index.php


Ni som gillar http://www.27bslash6.com/ kommer älska denna sidan. Skillnaden är att konversationerna på EFA är äkta(?).


Original ad:
looking for honda civic or accord, 1996 or newer. looking to pay up to $5000 depending on condition.


From Mike Anderson to *********@***********.org

Hey,

I'm selling my wife's 2003 Honda Civic while she is out of town. We are getting a divorce and I am selling it to spite her, so I'll sell it to you for 5k. It is nice. It has like 55,000 miles.

- Mike

From Andrea ****** to Me

I am very interested. Are you legally allowed to sell it, or does your wife have the title?

- Andrea

From Mike Anderson to Andrea ******

Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a woman. What are you thinking? You can't drive! You better be e-mailing me from the laptop in your kitchen. Otherwise get back in there!

From Andrea ****** to Me

excuse me? this is the 21st century, and women can drive just as well as men! I'm a good driver! can I take a look at your car or what?

From Mike Anderson to Andrea ******

no. I won't sell this car to a woman. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I made the roads a dangerous place. You should be riding public transportation, or have your husband drive you around.

From Andrea ****** to Me

I cant believe this. youre a dick! why did you let your wife drive the car if you are so against women driving?

From Mike Anderson to Andrea ******

She just bought it despite my issues with women driving, which is why we will be getting a divorce. Now unless your husband wants to buy the car, go back to making sandwiches and ironing, you self-righteous cunt.

From Andrea ****** to Me

YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE. YOU DON'T DESERVE YOUR WIFE!!!! YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!

[Wille005]

En till

Original ad:
I am a 18 year old looking for a summer job. it is hard for me to find work and I just want a job so I can afford a car for college next summer. I can clean, babysit, answer phones, pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!


From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hey,

I saw your ad looking for work and I think I have a job for you! I am looking for an assistant on my farm for the summer. It will involve working outdoors. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
Hi Mike! I am interested in your job! I love animals and used to ride horses so a farm would be great! what kind of work would I be doing, and where is your farm located? it needs to be close to ******** so my parents can drop me off and pick meup

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

It is very close to **********. I'm glad to hear you are familiar with horses, because you will be primarily working with horses.

My farm gets all the old horses that other farms don't need anymore, and they are starting to take up a lot of room in my stable, which I want to turn into a garage for my new truck. Therefore, the horses need to go. As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm.

I used to have a captive bolt pistol (cattle gun) that I used to put them down, but it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg. You'll probably have to use my 12-gauge shotgun to put them down. Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. Don't worry, I'll show you how to use the shotgun if you aren't familiar with one.

You then need to use my chainsaw to cut the horses into smaller parts that you can carry down to the lake. It can get a little messy, so I suggest wearing some clothes that you don't care about, or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment.

The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake, so you have to make sure he isn't around when you do it. I have some cinderblocks you can use to weigh the horses down so he won't see them.

I have a lot of horses, and each horse takes about an hour and a half to dispose of, so you should have plenty of work. The job will pay $15 an hour. When can you start?

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
omg that is HORRIBLE! That is truely awful and sick!! Why cant you just give the poor horses away? sorry but I am not helping you slaughter horses!!!

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

I'm sorry if you are a bit surprised, but this is how farms work. You can't give away old horses, you have to kill them. I thought about it, and if you don't want to use the chainsaw to cut up the horses, you can just use my truck to drag them down to the lake. Do you have your license or permit? If not, this could be good driving practice for you. You don't want to pass up on this great job opportunity.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
No that is not how farms work you are just SICK! I am NOT interested

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume.

[Johan_P]

Disguised Weapons (http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84) :D

[Wille005]

Disguised Weapons (http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84) :D
Jepp det är en av dom bästa. :laugh:

[LoTiX]

Jag gillade den med de dolda vapen. :)

[stevebc]

Hahahaha, vilken skön snubbe. Kan inte sluta garva åt den här: http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=85

Original ad:
I need a whole roll of carpet doesnt matter what kind will pay cash i need it fast

From Me to ***********@*************.org:

Hey,

Do you still need rolls of carpet? I have a deal worked out with a carpet wholesaler and can get you as many carpets as you need.

Thanks,

Mike

From *********@comcast.net to Me:

yeah I just need one how much do you want for it

From Me to *********@comcast.net:

I am asking $50 for the roll of carpet. It sounds like you also need some cleaning supplies. Luckily, I also sell gloves, mops, buckets, spray bottles, garbage bags, as well as disinfectants, odor removal chemicals, and enzyme solvents, in case you are interested in any of that.

Mike

From *********@comcast.net to Me:

what? I dont need any of that just the rug

From Me to *********@comcast.net:

Are you sure? It sounds like you need this rug to take care of a "problem", and you might want the cleaning supplies to clean up the rest of that problem.

Mike

From *********@comcast.net to Me:

my only problem is that i need this carpet and you are trying to sell me cleaning stuff

From Me to *********@comcast.net:

Look, you don't have to fool me. There is only one reason to urgently need a rug. It is pretty clear that you killed someone and need to get rid of them.

I've been there, man...whether it is a friend who overdosed on drugs, or a dead hooker, it is important that you clean everything up. You can't just roll them up in a carpet and forget about them. Don't worry, I can help you.

Mike

From *********@comcast.net to Me:

i didnt kill a hooker what the hell is wrong with you? i need the carpet for my apartment to replace my old stained carpet so i dont get screwed on my security deposit which is why i need it fast

From Me to *********@comcast.net:

Hey man, I'm not one to judge you. I understand that accidents happen. Maybe she didn't tell you when to stop choking her, or maybe you didn't realize that roofie you slipped in her Cosmo was actually cyanide. Either way, a dead hooker isn't the end of the world. Hookers die all the time; it comes with their line of work. The important thing is to stay calm and make sure that you clean everything up.

You have a good cover story with the security deposit. You are smart to get rid of the old blood-stained carpet, but you still will need my cleaning supplies. A small blood stain on the top of the rug is usually a much larger stain underneath the rug, and you can't simply put a new rug on top of it. With my dead hooker cleanup package, it comes with everything you need to clean up the "accident" and make it look like it never happened. The entire package, including the rug, will only cost you $100.

You should act soon before it is too late!

Mike

From *********@comcast.net to Me:

is everyone on craigslist this crazy or is it just you? all i want is the carpet and you are being a huge pain in my ass. ill find one from someone who isnt a goddamn psycho

[Kwon]

Shaniqua 1,2 och 3 är kul! :)

[norpx]

kan inte sluta skratta :D

[fiskebulle]

Gahahaha!

http://dontevenreply.com/images/glock.JPG

[ManuelIT]

länge sedan jag garvade så här mkt :laugh:

[Viktor_Balck]

kan inte sluta skratta :D

Ring Guiness rekordbok!

[The Swedish Oak]

Klockren läsning, men jobbig snubbe och ha o göra med.

[AlmostRipped]

Haha helt underbar sida!

Christmas Dinner! (http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=77)

[shadowfire]

lol, sjuk humor, men jag lolar

[stevebc]

Har läst igenom alla under dagen. Jag gillar mer de "snälla" än de som är typ "lol din son spelar fotboll så han är ghey". En som byggs upp bra, och som jag skrattade allra mest åt var denna: http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=64

[shadowfire]

håller med, en del av de där går över gränsen på ett lite väl radikalt sätt... de snälla är de roliga, de andra är mest tragiska.

[Snobbe]

Jag gillar många har inte läst alla men en kort som är nog edn bästa är http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=69

[PiNG.]

Fyfan va bra... väckte nog ungarna hahaha :laugh:

[High1ander]

Fyfan vad jag garvar av det där...

[Wille005]

*That's my humor.*

[Neuwb]

Haha fyfan va bra dessa är.
Denna är en favorit
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=77